My Fantastic New Blog Template (or How I Look Like A Serious Blogger)

Please enjoy this donkey. I chose this new template to reflect my serious stance on humor. I think it works well. It gives the illusion that I'm up to lots of things at once, and that I have many, many important things to blog about. Or perhaps you look at it and assume I have a staff of people cranking out lots of articles. None of the above is true, but there's nothing like throwing people off your small-time scent and making them think there's...

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How You Should Really Be Practicing Martial Arts

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Talking to Myself for Health and Profit

I've always talked to myself. It's a family trait, and I grew up thinking it was perfectly acceptable behavior. Many a day I'd find my mother chatting to the laundry, yelling at a broken door handle, or conversing with the checkbook register. My father has been known to have involved "discussions" with things like lawn mowers and car engines, and my sister -- well, she would talk from the moment her eyes opened in the morning, whether she had an audience or not. Me? I'm not entirely sure what spurs on my conversations with myself because I'm not...

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There's Something Else I'd Rather Be Doing

Ever start enjoying something so much that it overtakes your time until you really don't want to be doing anything else? So you don't do anything else. But then someone comes along and says, hey, why don't you do something else? All you ever do lately is this one thing, and I'm sick of looking at you doing it. Can't you try another something? Read a book. Tap dance. Levitate. Anything but that one thing. So you stop. And then you're not doing that one thing, but you keep thinking about it anyway because, let's face it, you don't want to be doing...

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255 Visitors Can't Be Wrong - Or Can They?

I've had this blog for awhile now and have done virtually nothing with it. Maybe you view that as some sort of rookie mistake, but truth be told, I have other blogs. Blogs with rather large followings. Blogs I've written many posts on. So, why do I shove this one aside? Laziness, mostly. I have to log into this one differently from the others, and I can never remember the password. I also realize that the last post I wrote was about the release of my new book, The Archibald Review, a book whose name was changed shortly after the post, but I never...

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This Book Is Funny and Cavemen, a Blog Post Combo Extraordinaire

It is true, all the hubbub you've been hearing: I have published my first ebook, This Book Is Funny. It's a collection of humorous shorts, satire, and scripty sorts of things. As to avoid getting all advertisement-like, I'm instead sharing one of the short stories here, A Cave With a View. I hope you'll enjoy it. I hope you'll enjoy it, become a huge fan, purchase all my further works, and talk about me all the time. But I hope you won't stalk...

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The Office Party

Ho ho ho, everyone, and welcome to the fifth annual "Da Bomb" Office Christmas party. Jingle Bells! Hey, Joe, refresh my eggnog, will you, ol' buddy? This stuff makes me feel like a bull at Pamplona, and I'm seeing a red dress over there, whoa Nellie! I want to thank you all for coming this evening; the party's been a real blast so far and -- whoops, there goes my nog! Somebody better clean that up before the Congo line gets going. Say, Joe, you better get me a fresh one, eh? Top off the ol' nog, I'm coming in for a landing. ...

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